Monday, May 1, 2017

Lowering Your Standards is Not the Answer

I've been online dating on and off for almost four years so this kind of dating has become the norm for me.

I didn't realise until recently how climatised I have become to guys treating me badly, not replying to texts and generally not giving me the respect I deserve.

I always thought I would meet someone who put me first and worried about my wellbeing, but the guys I seem to attract (online) have done none of this.

Guess that's why I'm 36 and still single.

But I refuse to settle.

Recently I met a guy who showed me there are still some good ones out there.

He is the type to let you walk through a doorway first, is happy to pick up the cheque and is insulted when you offer to pay.

He messages to see if you're home safe, asks how your day was and actually wants to hear your answer and remembers the type of drink you like.

It wasn't until going on a few dates did I realise how low my standards are now.

The only excuse I have is I'm a product of my surroundings. I, like many other people, haven't met anyone in real life so I turned to online dating. I just didn't realise I would compromise my standards in the process.

I realised the guys I met weren't what I always wanted but I went along for the ride because there weren't any other better offers.

I thought I was destined to forever be the girl my friends lived their lives vicariously through. They would laugh with me when I would tell them the incredible and sometimes unbelievable stories of the dates I'd been on. 

But they were also there when I would be counting the days since I'd heard from a guy and wondered what I had done wrong and we'd come up with the stories - no, the reasons - why this guy couldn't possibly have grabbed his phone and called me, or text.

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