Here's a hot tip for you. If a guy says he enjoys your company, run. Run as fast as you can and don't look back.
Up until this point I had hope. Hope this guy (an ex) whom I hadn't seen in two years was back in my life because he realised how much he missed me and hadn't found what we had since breaking up.
As much as I wanted to believe this, there was a niggling feeling telling me this wasn't the case.
People say actions speak louder than words but that wasn't the case this time.
His actions were telling me otherwise.
Let me start at the beginning. A month ago there's a knock at my door at 6.45pm on a Saturday. I was sick at the time (wearing trackies, ugg boots, jumper and no makeup) and wasn't expecting any visitors.
I open the door and standing there is my ex. It's been two years since we've seen each other and he says hi like it was yesterday. We'd had a difficult breakup and never in a million years did I think I'd see him again.
My reactions was a little different ("holy shit!").
He told me he was in the neighbourhood picking up something from Marketplace and he'd tried to message me on facebook but couldn't find me (I smiled - that's because I blocked you, mate!).
I let him in and we chatted. Just like old friends who hadn't seen each other in 10 years. He stayed for four hours. Yep, four hours. It was really good to see he was doing better than when we were together.
He'd changed jobs and seemed to be in a better place. I asked if he was seeing anyone (no) and I got the obligatory "you?" back. Clearly not caring what my answer was.
I told him about a psychic reading I had two years ago (after we had broken up) and how the lady couldn't shut up about him. Said the job he was in was the worst he could have, he had allergies to wheat and starch and dust and mould, the list went on.
Time passes and at 10.45pm he leaves with me thinking I won't see him again.
Of course I was wrong. I was turning 40 the following week and he messaged wishing me happy birthday.
Over the coming week we messaged a bit back and forth, just like it used to be. I was keen to catch up when I was back (I'd headed home for my 40th) and he was free the weekend so it was locked in.
A few hours into the second meet up he tells me there's an ex of his who's back in his life and he'd actually spent time with her two days earlier.
This didn't sit well with me at all. All of a sudden I felt like the other woman. He had not told me about her the last time we saw each other. If he had, there's no way I would have organised another catchup.
And why is he seeing me when he is spending time with another girl? I had so many questions.
I figured I had nothing to lose so I told him more about the psychic reading. The lady said he knew we could have a good life together but he needed to step up.
What I didn't tell him is she said he would get from me what he gets from a friend and he would find a way to keep popping back into my life.
I needed to get rid of him from my life in order for this other guy I'm meant to be with to appear. Apparently things will be a lot easier with this guy and we would be a good match.
But back to the catchup...I had planned on hitting this guy up and asking why he'd popped back into my life but the news of another girl threw me so I just left it.
There's a time and a place.
Cue two weeks later (yesterday) and we catch up. I was determined to get to the bottom of it. I'm like a dog with a bone.
It takes me two hours to find a segway to ask him about this other girl.
I ask if he's seeing someone and he replies "yeah, I'm still seeing Rachel." Right, so this girl has a name.
I then ask what he was feeling towards me and he was trying to throw it back to me and I wouldn't have it.
He finally said he wanted friendship from me. Mate, the way you've been acting is not friendship. I tell him we were never friends; we met on a dating site.
This comes as a shock to him - for some reason he thought I would be okay with this scenario. I was not (and most girls wouldn't be either).
As we are chatting the time is passing and we're getting close to leaving the house to see a movie I booked tickets for an hour earlier.
Of course had I known he was seeing me as a "friend" I wouldn't have said yes to a movie and sitting next to this guy who's flying the FRIENDSHIP flag.
So I put on my big girl pants and sucked it up. I really wanted to see the movie!
He touched my leg a couple of times during the movie as he jumped watching a scene (friendship, I don't think so).
Afterwards, we came back to my house. I still didn't get what I wanted out of him so I attempted another chat.
I asked what this girl would think of him spending time with me and he said he'd told her and she was okay about it.
Ummmm....I would not be okay with it.
This guy has spent a lot of time with me over the past few catchups, acting like we were still a couple (just minus the physical stuff). He was asking about my friends, how my family was doing and sharing in-house jokes with me like old times.
Again, this is not okay.
Mate, you can't do that. You can't lead a girl on and think you're offering more than you are. And you are deluded if you think we were "just friends".
I couldn't believe this guy had taken me for a ride. Again.
But that's the last time. I blocked him (again) on facebook last night and I'm close to blocking his phone number as well.
I've wasted enough time, energy and breathing space on this guy over the past month it's time to put him in the rear view mirror for good.
