Dear Saturday night date
Can I please have my four hours back?
I had high hopes for you, I'm not gonna lie.
We'd been chatting for a few days and we both thought it's better to meet up sooner rather than later so we organised a date.
I was keen - our banter was great and we seemed to share the same sense of humour via text message. And that's no mean feat.
Although meeting in real life (or IRL as the kids call it) I was worried I wouldn't find you attractive so I went in with an open mind.
When you turned up I was pleasantly surprised, but also didn't feel that spark I'm looking for.
And as Marie Kondo says, we need to spark joy.
One drink turned into several and before you know it, we'd moved to another venue and the drinks and conversation continue to flow.
This gave me hope you were enjoying yourself.
By this time, four hours had passed and I suggested we grab some food. You had other ideas, announcing you were going to go home and asked me if that was okay, like my answer would have changed your mind anyway.
We swiftly made a bee line for our perspective Ubers (how 2019) and you gave me an awkward hug and said 'all the best meeting you, not on a second date though'.
Ummm, what did you just say???
I was in total shock I didn't react the way I wanted to so I am telling you know.
Why did I just waste four hours of my Saturday night when clearly you just weren't that into me.
Couldn't you have decided this in the first drink, in the first hour?
How does it take someone FOUR HOURS to decide they don't want to be there?
Funny thing is, we'd joked a few times about how long we usually stay out if we're not into them (consensus was two hours).
I even chatted to a woman at the bar and mentioned I was on a first date and she said if I needed an out I could join her and her friends (love the sistahood!).
I went back and told you (you thought it was funny) and we continued to stay out, obviously past your bedtime.
Look, I get it. You're just not into me.
I don't have any issues with that but I do with the fact we were out for FOUR HOURS and you wasted my time.
Whether you realise or not, you gave me false hope we would catch up again and I'm telling you now there's no way I'd stay out for four hours if I didn't think there would be a second date.
I've been wracking my brain to think of what I did to make you run like you did.
But you know what, this had nothing to do with me and everything to do with you.
Next time you're on an eHarmony date, figure out what you before you meet the girl, because she doesn't need to be dragged into a marathon date for no reason.
For the record, this is the first time in my five-ish years of online dating anyone has told me there wouldn't be a second date, while still being on the first.
And finally, I looked damn hot and felt confident. Buddy, you're the one missing out.
