Saturday, May 30, 2015

All Dressed Up and Nowhere To Go

All dressed up and nowhere to go. Kind of.

I had a date planned for tonight and up until half an hour ago, we were meeting at 7pm and the guy was looking forward to meeting me.

Something changed because he text saying can we reschedule for Wednesday night? I said I had plans Wednesday, then he suggested Monday and then I was honest and said nothing personal, but I'd been cancelled on one too many times, I'm sure he had his reasons, but let's just leave things.

His reply? Okay, if you change your mind, let me know.

Obviously I didn't leave that good an impression on him for him to be so blase about me saying let's just forget it.

I am pissed off I've been cancelled on (again), but at the same time, I'm not. You remember that guy I recently wrote about who cancelled our second date to help his flatmate fix the fence? I was gutted when he cancelled because I was really looking forward to seeing him again.

But this guy, I wasn't even excited to meet him for the first time. I almost tried talking myself out of the date to start with, but a good friend convinced me to give it a go. And so I was.

I've also been trying hard not to let these small dating hiccups get to me as much as they did, but I don't think I'm having that much luck.

I wish someone could explain to me why it's so easy for guys to cancel on a girl? It's a first date. This is not a good example to set, especially when you haven't even met.

Is it a case of something else, or someone else, coming up and he got a better offer? I've always followed through with plans, I've rarely cancelled and my friends know they can rely on me.

How do I then try and weed through these online dating profiles to find one who WILL NOT CANCEL ON YOU?

I wouldn't have thought it too much to ask.

Over the past couple of weeks I've been thinking my dating stint (this time) is coming to an end. I am chatting to two other guys (I'm interested in one). Think I might see where that leads, then say bye bye to RSVP for now.

My heart's been in it, but I don't think the guys are all that interested anymore. I had a good run for awhile there.

Oh, and did I mention I'd gone to the hairdressers today and my hair looks great?!?!

All dressed up and nowhere to go...

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Go With Your Gut

Just because a guy has an online dating profile, it doesn't necessarily mean he's ready to date you.

This is the harsh truth I've come face-to-face with recently.

The last guy I talked about, the one who cancelled on me, then we had a second and third date? It all came to an end on Monday when I messaged him. I hadn't heard from him since our last date so I contacted him (clearly he wasn't going to message me).

Turns out he'd been (too?) busy at work and he wasn't doing well with the work/life balance.

This is an all-too familiar reason/excuse I've been getting, but this time I actually believe it.

During our last date he seemed too preoccupied with work to really enjoy our date or get to know me more.

I was getting a gut feeling I was only one date away from the "it's not you, it's my work" excuse and it seems I was right.

I guess if I really look at it objectively, my gut feeling about him cancelling on our second date was right...he just wasn't that into me.

It's hard to hear this, especially when the last three guys have used the same excuse.

My first question is why? Why are you on a dating website to start with if you don't have any intention on meeting a girlfriend and why have you gone on one, two and sometimes three dates with me if you're just not into me?

Not only are you wasting my time, but yours as well.

I've always said I see online dating as a last resort. I've exhausted all the other means of meeting people. I'm 34 and was looking down the barrel of eternal singledom, I wanted to do something about it.

So here I am. Putting myself out there, time and time again in the hope I'll find someone who likes me for me, doesn't want to change me, is willing to do normal date things like movies, dinner and drinks and best of all, someone who wants to travel as much as I do.

You wouldn't think I was asking for much, now would you?

Bu I guess the fact I'm a girl who knows what she wants is enough to deter some guys.

You might ask, am I going for the same types of guys? Maybe I need to look at someone different?

That would be fine, but I don't actually have a "type". All the guys I've dated have been different.

Brown hair, blonde, tall, short, their jobs have ranged from electricians, chefs, corporate, FIFO workers...

For now I'll soldier on and keep you updated.

Sunday, May 3, 2015

The Perks of Dating

I've taken a philosophical look at dating over the past couple of weeks.

Sure, I enjoy going on dates and meeting new people, but along the way I've also picked up some pretty cool things.

I think the top of the list would be a second chance by the last guy I wrote about.
Turns out he read the blog post I wrote about him and he was prepared to give me a second chance.

We went on a second date and it was just as good as the first, if not better.
The chemistry was still bursting out and we managed another marathon session of getting to know each other (eight and a half hours later....).

The second coolest thing I've been given on a date is a bottle of vodka! I'd organised the date - a ghost tour of an old gaol and the guy was that impressed I'd taken the initiative to do something different, he bought me a bottle of alcohol.

A good friend of mine helped me polish it off long after the guy decided I wasn't the one for him.

I've been given chocolates - fancy Haighs chocolates from Adelaide. I'm kinda glad I don't appear to be the usual flowers girl though (although I do love 'em).

I guess the next one to receive an honourable mention would be the guy from the awkward date last year who turned up with four passion fruit! He'd spoken of his passion fruit vine and how he loved to make passion fruit cheesecake. I mention I like passion fruit, then presto I'm given these fruits after probably the most awkward date I've ever been on.

I didn't eat them for days for fear they were poisoned. I even gave two to my mum (nice, hey??) and after awhile decided to try them myself.

And they were some of the tastiest I'd ever eaten!

All jokes (and fruit aside) I guess the biggest thing guys give me on dates is time. It's a few hours (or more if the date's going well) of their time they're never going to get back. Ever.

But is guess I only think of it like that when the date doesn't go well. If I'm out with a guy and I'm really enjoying myself, I'm not worried how late it is. Being a night owl has something to do with it, but also you lose track of time when you're with someone worthwhile. And you can't put a price, or time frame on that.