Sunday, September 29, 2013

The Taxi Drivers

The taxi drivers play a part in my online dating too. It's my usual form of transport when I'm about to meet a guy I've never met, for a date.

When one of my dates was finishing and the guy walked me to a taxi, he opened the front passenger door for me. I politely said thanks, but I'll sit in the back.

He then said he didn't know why because he always sat in the front, but he had friends who sat in the back blah blah blah.

I proceeded to tell my date that being a single gal, I felt more safe sitting in the back of the taxi. I felt like telling him I shouldn't have to explain myself to him, geez.

So we hug, I get in the (back of the ) taxi and before we've pulled away from the curb the driver gets stuck into me asking why didn't I feel safe in the taxi??

So not only had he listened to my conversation with my date, but hit me up about sitting in the back of a taxi.

I said (again) I felt more safe in the back.

He said why, it's just as safe in the front and there are cameras (points to them).

I was pissed off at this stage so I told him I know there are camera, but there is no sound to them. I'd remembered a story I'd read in the paper a few months back about how council was paying for all the cameras in taxis to have sound and not just a picture.

Needless to say I didn't talk to him for the rest of the cab ride.

A few weeks later another taxi driver parts more wisdom.

After jumping in a cab about 12.15am (pretty good sign the date went well) the driver asked me how my night was. I said good . He replied with "every day above ground is a good one". He really knew how to bring the tone of the night down.


He went on to tell me he is from Palestine and God gets them ready for death...quite heavy at midnight!

But he is right - any day above ground is a good one.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

The Guys' Profiles


I've decided to share with you some of the...um...interesting profiles I've come across over the past four months.

As a journalist, spelling is pretty important to me, so anyone who can actually spell gets a my attention straight away.
And the same goes for the ones who can't.

This guy, 31, had it covered.
"Not to shaw about this internet dating but will give it a go".

Good luck with the search, buddy.

Another, 35, looked like Zach Galifianakis and his profile read:
"I recently broke up with my girlfriend. I found out she was lactose intolerant. I won't stand for intolerance." 

Gotta hand it to him, it was kinda funny.

Another guy was looking for a woman who was separated. Ummm....???

Many say they want to find a partner in crime and a friend of mine pointed out what were they looking for? Someone to help them rob a bank??

Here's another cracker from a 25-year-old man:
"Straight up - If you are a person that hides in 'offline' mode and/or do not have a pic visible for the whole world to see don't bother contacting me. Honesty/transparency is paramount.

Inept tools that think they are one of the 'cool kids' by using 'txt' speak or if you are unable to construct a sentence in plain English you can get off my page!! For the REALLY stupid ones If 'u' cannot spell 'you' or 'are' stay away from me as you already irk me & will not get a reply! Just being honest!

Also if you don't want kids please don't contact me! I am not prepared to waste my time waiting for you to decide if you are 'undecided'!"

Another said he tanned easily. I'll just tick that off my what-a-man-must-have list.

This 32-year-old is looking for his unicorn, while a 31-year-old is looking for his Nina.

Another looked like a guy I went to school with. He's trying to keep the tone light:
"Man who lives in glass house should change in basement".

And this one:
"One good turn gets most of the blankets".

Last one:
"What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? An offer you can't understand!".

Okay, no really, last one:
"When people ask me if I'm working hard or hardly working, I like to stab them with a pen and ask if they're hurting hard or hardly hurting."  

If nothing else, the profiles provide me with a laugh through the rest of the other garbage the guys write when describing themselves.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

First Date Rules

Although we like to think there aren't any first date rules, they are.

Like taking someone to McDonald's or your local RSL - you just don't do it. Especially if you want to reach date #2.

Speaking of RSLs...this guy I'm talking to suggested we go to an RSL for dinner 'cause "it does some nice meals too". Ummmmm. No.

I put going to an RSL on a first date in the same category as going to Sizzler. Never going to happen. Ever.

Isn't the guy supposed to impress the girl on the first date? Where does it say thank you for getting dressed up, doing your hair and makeup.

We all know going on a date is about getting dressed up as much as it is about meeting the guy.

If the first date starts out at an RSL, then future ones will probably be down hill from there. Surely there's got to be something pretty special about the first date? And it starts with the venue.

Guys shouldn't wear a hoodie on a first date either.

I've touched on this before - don't talk about marriage, kids or exes on the first date. There are plenty of other things to fill in time.

If the guy pays on the first date he gets a big tick in my book. I know, I know, equality and all, but I am old fashioned and think the guy should pick up the tab. I am happy to go one for one after that.