Go With Your Gut

Just because a guy has an online dating profile, it doesn't necessarily mean he's ready to date you.

This is the harsh truth I've come face-to-face with recently.

The last guy I talked about, the one who cancelled on me, then we had a second and third date? It all came to an end on Monday when I messaged him. I hadn't heard from him since our last date so I contacted him (clearly he wasn't going to message me).

Turns out he'd been (too?) busy at work and he wasn't doing well with the work/life balance.

This is an all-too familiar reason/excuse I've been getting, but this time I actually believe it.

During our last date he seemed too preoccupied with work to really enjoy our date or get to know me more.

I was getting a gut feeling I was only one date away from the "it's not you, it's my work" excuse and it seems I was right.

I guess if I really look at it objectively, my gut feeling about him cancelling on our second date was right...he just wasn't that into me.

It's hard to hear this, especially when the last three guys have used the same excuse.

My first question is why? Why are you on a dating website to start with if you don't have any intention on meeting a girlfriend and why have you gone on one, two and sometimes three dates with me if you're just not into me?

Not only are you wasting my time, but yours as well.

I've always said I see online dating as a last resort. I've exhausted all the other means of meeting people. I'm 34 and was looking down the barrel of eternal singledom, I wanted to do something about it.

So here I am. Putting myself out there, time and time again in the hope I'll find someone who likes me for me, doesn't want to change me, is willing to do normal date things like movies, dinner and drinks and best of all, someone who wants to travel as much as I do.

You wouldn't think I was asking for much, now would you?

Bu I guess the fact I'm a girl who knows what she wants is enough to deter some guys.

You might ask, am I going for the same types of guys? Maybe I need to look at someone different?

That would be fine, but I don't actually have a "type". All the guys I've dated have been different.

Brown hair, blonde, tall, short, their jobs have ranged from electricians, chefs, corporate, FIFO workers...

For now I'll soldier on and keep you updated.