Saturday, August 2, 2014

Boring First Dates

I think we can all agree I've had my fair share of first dates (afterall, that's what this blog is essentially about, right?) but I am over the boring topics I find myself talking to these guys about.

I joined Plenty of Fish recently and had my first date within four days. It sounded good in theory, but I'd only been chatting to the guy for a couple of days before he asked to catch up.

I thought why not? I'll try something I don't normally do - usually I chat for about a week before broaching the subject of a meet up.

I ended up driving to the date (which is generally a big no-no for me) because he lived 45 minutes out of town and was driving in. Didn't think it would be a good look to get drunk (been there, done that) when he was only having a few.

We went to a pub and while he went to get us some drinks I start chatting to this girl sitting next to me at the pub. She looked like she was waiting for a date so I asked her.

Yep, she was waiting to meet a guy she'd been chatting to for the past six weeks. She admitted she didn't normally wait that long before meeting, but things had come up. He'd called and said he would be late as he was catching a taxi from the Bayside.

She asks me how my date was going and I said okay so far. My date comes back with drinks and I'm chatting to him again. I turn around later when my date was getting drinks again and the guy had arrived. And he was cute! The three of us start a conversation - he asks me how my date was going (obviously she'd told him) and I asked how the taxi ride was the Bayside!

We all laugh - it was like the three of us were on the date. At least it would have been more fun if we were.

Somehow my date and I end up talking about the price of fuel. Come onnnnnnnnnnn. How has this become first-date chatter? This is boring and certainly not sexy and has no scent of mystery about it.

If that wasn't enough, the guy tells me he's married (separated), she cheated on him (he did FIFO work and was never there....) and now she's pregnant with the other guy's baby. The separation only happened in December and it's clear it's still raw with this guy.

He then feels the need to tell me they married in Fiji three years ago but never legalised the marriage in Australia so technically they aren't married.

They still share custody of two cats (he gets them when she works away).

Am I boring you yet? I'm yawning as I type.

With all due respect I don't give a shit about his pregnant ex wife or his cats or how far he travels to work each day (hence the fuel price chat).

I am sick of hearing everyone's baggage in a three-hour first date. This is NOT normal. Some of these things should't come out until months down the track.

Who decided first dates should be about laying all you cards on the table?

I had a disagreement with a friend of mine who says she'd prefer to hear the baggage straight up - that way she could run earlier.

I would prefer to wait because hearing the news after you'd gotten to know the guy might mean you keep your feet safely planted on the ground instead of running. You'd gotten to know him and liked what you saw and whatever it was wasn't a deal breaker anymore.


I don't think joining an online dating site gives a guy a licence to ask you as many personal, intrusive and boring questions as he likes during your first date.

Would you do that if you were on a date in the "real  world"? I know I wouldn't - and don't with online dating guys.

Back to fuel guy - as I like to refer to him - he basically admitted to me it can sometimes take him days to reply to messages (and many of the girls get angry - I wonder why???) because all he wants to do when he gets home is dinner, shower, bed and do it all again tomorrow.

Sounds inviting, doesn't it? I even said to him "you're really selling yourself to me" and just kinda smiled.

So after 3+ hours I'd just about had enough. Two hours in he date he'd asked me if I was hungry and I said I could eat something, then he replies he wasn't hungry. And hour late he decides he's hungry and asks me what I wanted to do?

Insert him leaning into me and giving me the 'foot tap' like he's saying 'how 'bout it? If I stay at yours tonight I'll save on fuel'. He didn't say it but I could see the idea ticking through his mind.

Umm, how about no buddy? Have I given you any indication I'm interested? Has there been any leg touching, shoulder brushing, fingers touching? No. I couldn't have been more clear if I tried.

So I pretend to look at my watch like I'm deciding what I'll do 'oh look at the time - I should probably get going' I reply.

Luckily I didn't have to duck and weave at the usually awkward 'car' moment at the end of the night as he'd picked up my vibes and was standing a couple of metres from me.

So his radar's not that off, afterall.

I'm upping the ante for the next first date - a ghost tour of Boggo Road Gaol!

No comments:

Post a Comment