Monday, August 11, 2014

Upping the Ante on a First Date

I've managed to go on a date and be rejected within three days. Quite a mean feat actually and a first for me.

My last post explored the extent of how boring my dates had become. But alas, I had organised a ghost tour of a former gaol to bring back the excitement in a first date.

The guy turned up at my place with a bottle of vodka. I was freaking out our pre-ghost-tour-drinks had turned in an awkward let's-sit-on-the-couch-get-to-know-you-kinda-night. But thankfully he was just giving me the alcohol to say thanks for organising the date.


We then walk to a little cute bar not far from my place and we get about 100m from the entrance and he starts feeling his jeans pockets. Oh no, he says. He continue to feel his pockets. Shit!

'What's wrong?', I ask.
'I think I've left my wallet in the car', he replies.

This poor guy is freaking out and was so embarrassed. After a few minutes we decide to swing past my place on the way to the ghost tour.

I get the first 'round of drinks, which that was okay. He'd bought me a $40 bottle of vodka; I didn't think this guy was taking me for a ride.

While we sip our drinks, he manages to confuse me with another girl he'd obviously been chatting to on Plenty of Fish. He was re-telling stories I'd already heard and was asking me questions about my family which didn't apply to me.

I wasn't offended. This is just one of those things that can happen when you chat to more than one person when you're online dating. The trick is to remember what you've told each one.

It's soon time for us to head to the ghost tour (and pick up said wallet on the way) and I'm ready for some fun.

Plus, a ghost tour is the perfect opportunity/excuse to hold hands!

Almost two hours later we leave the gaol a little nervous, excited and ready for some more drinks. I don't think either of us thought it would go for so long. We didn't have much chance to talk during the tour and my date was dying to go to the toilet!

I'd never met anyone who went to the toilet as much as I did - and especially not any guys.

I'd chatted to this guy for about two weeks before meeting in person and it was actually refreshing to meet someone who had almost as many bad first-date stories as I did.

So we spent the next few hours swapping stories about who had the worst time at online dating.

Things were becoming more comfortable as the hours passed.

It was good because we weren't getting into the heavy duty first date stuff (which I was trying to avoid).

This guy had made an effort clothes-wise as well. He had nice dress shoes on, jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. And he smelt good.

He paid for drinks, I paid for some. He picked up the taxi bills, I shared some.

It was a very 21st Century date and that was good.

It was getting close to 2am when we decided to call it a night. I'd had fun, thought he had and was secretly planning our second date.

Although it was never talked about that night (red flag??), we had mentioned it in our texts.

So the next day I send the guy a message asking how his surf was, just general chit-chat. He replied, but was very non-committal.

He was heading out that night with mates so there weren't many messages.

I got a bit of radio silence the next day and decided to message saying I'd had a really good date and hoped to see him again and just wanted to check we were on the same page?

Same page? Don't even think we were reading the same book.
He doesn't reply that night (another red flag) and decides 9.30am Monday morning is the best time to break it to me gently.

I'm at work. Reading this rejection message. Ummmm, not cool.

He said he enjoyed Friday night and I was a great girl but didn't think there was enough to start a relationship. He apologised for breaking it to me like this but said I deserved to know.

I was numb reading the message. How could I have gotten the signals so wrong?

And why did he have to be so specific about why he didn't want to see me again. A thanks, but not thanks would have sufficed.

I know a lot of you are thinking it's good that he was honest but I don't want that kind of honesty after a first date. Because what he told me was personal and I took it personally. The whole it's not me, it's you, certainly applied to me in this case.

So the dating circle begins again. Here I go again messaging another guy and deciding what I will and won't tell him about me.

This really is like a second job. Good thing I love sharing it with you all!

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