Saturday, September 14, 2013

The Guys' Profiles

I've decided to share with you some of profiles I've come across over the past four months.

As a journalist, spelling is pretty important to me, so anyone who can actually spell gets a my attention straight away.
And the same goes for the ones who can't.

This guy, 31, had it covered.
"Not to shaw about this internet dating but will give it a go".

Good luck with the search, buddy.

Another, 35, looked like Zach Galifianakis and his profile read:
"I recently broke up with my girlfriend. I found out she was lactose intolerant. I won't stand for intolerance." 

Gotta hand it to him, it was kinda funny.

Another guy was looking for a woman who was separated. Ummm....???

Many say they want to find a partner in crime and a friend of mine pointed out what were they looking for? Someone to help them rob a bank??

Here's another cracker from a 25-year-old man:
"Straight up - If you are a person that hides in 'offline' mode and/or do not have a pic visible for the whole world to see don't bother contacting me. Honesty/transparency is paramount.

Inept tools that think they are one of the 'cool kids' by using 'txt' speak or if you are unable to construct a sentence in plain English you can get off my page!! For the REALLY stupid ones If 'u' cannot spell 'you' or 'are' stay away from me as you already irk me & will not get a reply! Just being honest!

Also if you don't want kids please don't contact me! I am not prepared to waste my time waiting for you to decide if you are 'undecided'!"

Another said he tanned easily. I'll just tick that off my what-a-man-must-have list.

This 32-year-old is looking for his unicorn, while a 31-year-old is looking for his Nina.

Another looked like a guy I went to school with. He's trying to keep the tone light:
"Man who lives in glass house should change in basement".

And this one:
"One good turn gets most of the blankets".

Last one:
"What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? An offer you can't understand!".

Okay, no really, last one:
"When people ask me if I'm working hard or hardly working, I like to stab them with a pen and ask if they're hurting hard or hardly hurting."  

If nothing else, the profiles provide me with a laugh through the rest of the other garbage the guys write when describing themselves.


  1. Wow, is it a dating site or a joke exchange site?

    1. I think they are hiding behind the jokes (some are, anyway). But it is a real dating site!