Unblocking my ex on Facebook

Isolation made me do it!

Spending three months in lock down gave me plenty of time to ponder life, including what my ex boyfriend was up to.

I must admit, there have been times over the past two years I've wondered what he was up to but that's as far as it went.

But being isolated from many of the things I know and love made me think....and think....and think.

You see, I blocked my ex about 18 months ago because Facebook Messenger kept telling me when he was online. We weren't Facebook friends anymore but he'd messaged me on Messenger and even though I'd deleted the chat, I could still see when he was online.

You can imagine how this wasn't helpful for someone wanting to forget their ex (like most of us do!). They're an ex for a reason, right?!

So I blocked him. Which deleted that chat.

Out of sight, out of mind, right? Well, mostly.

Lately I'd been thinking about what he'd be up to. Was he still working or had he lost his job from coronavirus layoffs? 

I knew he'd have a new girlfriend, no question about it. He told me he was a relationship kinda guy (he just didn't know how to act like he was in one).

So last night I did it - I unblocked him. I didn't expect to see much (if anything) as he rarely posted on Facebook when we were together and he wasn't going to change, right?

You can imagine my shock when I see he'd checked in at a couple of gigs.....with a girl.

Now it's not the fact he was with a girl that got to me, it's the fact 1) he's going to gigs again and he knew how much I love this and he never wanted to commit to going to them with me anymore and 2) he checked in with her.

I mean, he'd never checked in on Facebook anywhere with me the whole time we were together.

The two checkins I did see were from 2019 but one can only assume they are still together now.

Of course I stalked her Facebook page too (who wouldn't?) but only saw a handful of photos (she's pretty *sigh*) and thankfully there wasn't a happy snap of them both staring back at me.

I am better off without him, no question, but I don't want his happiness rubbed in my face.

I say good luck to her. I had nine months of him putting me second with everything he did (including not wanting to go to music gigs with me) and now I don't have to put up with that. And haven't for the past two years.

Yes I am still single, yes I am a few months away from turning 40, but you know what? I am so glad I made the decision to end our relationship and I put myself first for once.

You're probably wondering if I'm going to block him again on social media? I don't think so. He's not hiding in my Messenger messages anymore so there isn't a constant reminder he's there.

And I want to be the bigger person, even if I don't feel like it right now.