It's not a good sign because I went on a (Tinder) date a few hours ago and things went south.
I'd chatted to this guy the previous night on the phone for two hours but in real-life it wasn't the same.
And I wasn't attracted to him. At all, He was another who didn't look like this photos which were a younger, skinnier version of him.
Date started out okay but soon there was a lot of awkwardness (which he brings up, even more awkward) and he stares at me in the really uncomfortable way. He's taking a drink of his beer while staring straight at me/through me.
I comment a few times about how it's weird he's staring at me and he thinks it's normal. He even asked me if I looked away from him because I was uncomfortable?
Umm, no mate. This is how I am when I talk to people I maintain eye contact, then look away BECAUSE IT'S WEIRD TO STARE AT PEOPLE!
Then he says he has never had feedback like that before, of which I reply it's not "feedback", it was simply a comment, an observation.
Way to go, you really know how to make a girl feel uncomfortable.
There are so many 'bad' moments from the date, I'll just keep them to a minimum.
Here are a few examples:
He comments on my French manicure and asks when I got it done? I said I do it myself and he's like but when did you do it? I replied, last Thursday.
And that's it, he doesn't say anything else. Doesn't compliment me or anything.
He asks if I want children (everyone knows how much I love this question).
I pause, hesitate and look at him.
I ask him why he needs to know this - I don't like talking about this on a first date.
I ask him if he wants children - "yes, of course" and I said isn't it an issue for you if I don't want kids?
I really don't like getting into this. THIS IS NOT FIRST DATE TALK. Think I need to send a memo to the guys before we go on a date.
Barbara will not talk about kids, marriage and ex-boyfriends. Maybe I should wear it around my neck, just to be safe.
For two people who spent two hours taking on the phone the night before, there were a lot of awkward silences. And this guy keeps pointing them out again and again.
At one stage we're talking about yoga, quite in depth,
He goes twice a week and I've just taken up hot yoga about a month ago so when we first started chatting on Tinder, this was a common interest.
But on the date he kept hassling me and wanted to know why I didn't like the quietness of yoga.
"I just don't," I reply.
I'm thinking, what's the big deal. But he doesn't leave it alone, then he tries to psycho analyse why I don't like being in a quiet room when you're not supposed to talk.
He blurts out "where are you in the family? Middle, end?". I'm I'm the only girl, and youngest.
I said "do you want me to lie down on the couch?" making fun of him but think it went over his head.
He then says 'we must have run out of things to say if this is what we're talking about'. You think this, but don't say out loud. I agreed and said let's move on.
We don't share the same taste in music, movies or tv shows. All he watches is ABC and listens to Radio National.
He likes Kanye West (WTF?) but doesn't read any of the pop culture stuff about him (this is my bread and butter).
These may not sound like deal breakers to you (and they're not for me), but they do play a really big part in my life.
After telling one friend about the terrible date she said he had an unusual understanding of social norms. That described him, and the date perfectly.
He also ordered for me. I've never had a guy/let a guy do this but thought I'd humour him. He ordered the beef for entree to share, we ordered our own mains then had an intense 'discussion' about dessert.
I wanted creme brulee while he wanted the panacotta. I wasn't hungry enough to share two and I wasn't going to budge on the creme brulee.
By this time he was really starting to annoy me with all the comments about the awkwardness so I stood my ground.
When he ordered creme brulee I was surprised.
Anyway, he pays the bill and we're standing out the front of the restaurant. He wanted to give me a hug and lifted me up (bear hug-like) and we went our separate ways (this is 8.45pm).
By 9.30pm he messages saying am I going to see you again? (how about it was really lovely to meet you, I had a nice time, would you like to catch up again?).
I said I thought the way the date ended was an indication we didn't have a good time?
Turns out he did have a good time.
I said all the signs pointed to both of us not having anything to say and it was time to leave.
He replies "I think you're fantastic Barbara...if that's how you read your signs then I'm not going to convince you otherwise.
Me: you have a funny way of showing it
Him: Pfft. Hilarious. You have a funny way of showing your gratitude for dinner.
I didn't reply. It was 10.40pm, I turned my phone off (didn't want any messages waking me up) and went to bed.
Fast forward 24 hours and it's Friday night and he messages 'what are you doing tonight?'.
How many times do I have to say no, no, no, no, no?!