Have you heard of the boyfriend and husband privileges theory?
There are certain things you shouldn't do unless they are your boyfriend or husband.
For example, picking them up from the airport, cooking them an elaborate meal, buying birthday presents, using pet names, helping them pick out what to wear, changing your plans for them, posting pics together, the list is long.
These are gestures some would say are only reserved for someone who is your boyfriend or husband.
I've found myself giving someone boyfriend privileges when they are far from it. Not sure they are even in the same postcode.
And the realisation hit hard.
I'm a caring person and like looking after others - sometimes to my own detriment.
Who is looking out for me? Cooking me dinners? Changing their plans for me? Wanting to hear about my day?
I have confused short-term lust for long-term commitment.
But that stops now.
I've known for a few years I want to get married (but no kids, thanks!). I also know I want the guy to make me a priority, think of me before he makes plans and wants to get out and explore with me.
I shouldn't feel like I don't deserve these normal things.
But somehow I do.
I always downplay my plans to get married (in the next two years please!). I make a joke about it. But I am deadly serious.
I need to stop sitting on the sidelines and get in the game. No one else is going to do it for me.
I'm my biggest advocate, but also biggest critic.
I am ready to feel the magic of love again. It's been far too long.
