I know many of you were excited about my last post on my great first date (as I was!) but I'm sad to say this one didn't end well.
I went on a second date with that guy I wrote about two days after the first date and it was really good but the cracks started to appear.
He was unresponsive on text - would take at least 24-48 hours to acknowledge or reply. I even messaged him on his birthday early that morning and it took him two-and-a-half days to reply.
No matter how much you do or don't like someone, basic manners should prevail.
If he wasn't interested, he should have done the decent thing and told me, instead he strung me along on five dates over eight weeks.
I called him out on his behaviour a couple of times (the length of time it took him to confirm his plans or availability) but for some reason I hung in there.
I think because when we did see each other I had a really great time and it almost made up for the other stuff. Almost...
Apart from the usual dinner and drinks we also spent a Sunday afternoon bush walking which made me think this wasn't just something casual for him (or me).
Why bother with any niceties if he wasn't interested?
Trying to get into the psyche of his mind (or any guy's) is a waste of my time.
At no stage did he understand where I was coming from.
It was completely normal (and acceptable) for him not to instigate texts with me or reply in an acceptable time frame (I'd say within a few hours isn't too much to ask, or after work at the latest).
If you like someone, you make time for them.
Our last communication was him cancelling one afternoon at 2pm before we were supposed to see each other a few hours later.
The excuse was genuine (he had to look after his daughter), but instead of rescheduling, I just got the 'I'll let you know when I'm free' spiel.
I'm still waiting....
This is when I decided to stop messaging him - he clearly wasn't putting any effort in with me so why should I bother?
A day went by, then a few days, then a week.
To be honest I didn't realise straight away he was ghosting me (remember, this guy would take a week or more to message) but when it did I felt like such an idiot.
How is it possible at the age of 40 I'm still being ghosted?
Couldn't believe it.
After five weeks (once the anger has passed) I sent him a text - wanted him to know it wasn't cool to ghost me and the decent thing was to tell me he wasn't interested and I deserved to be treated better.
I felt better after I did it. I secretly knew he'd reply - afterall he always had, just not within my accepted time frame.
The next day I got a message asking if it was me, his phone had died weeks ago and lost all his numbers.
Was very defensive and said think what you like, he's not the ghosting kind of person
Then proceeded to say he'd had this (new) phone for awhile now and he figured if I didn't hit him up again then I wasn't interested in him that way (hello gaslighting).
He said that was cool and he could accept that as it was only early in meeting each other.
He did say he was guilty of not coming around to see me after he broke his phone and he did feel bad. I deserved to be treated better.
Then it turned weird and quite sexual.
He should have just stopped at you deserve to be treated better.
Because I do.
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