First Date Blues

It has been almost 17 months since I had my last first date.

For awhile there I was on a role with first dates - my problem was getting to the third date. Now I haven't even had one first date.

True, I was off the market for awhile (nine months) while I was seeing a guy, but that finished many, many months ago and I'm gun-shy to get back on the horse.

Not even sure how to ride, to be honest.

What came naturally to me for so long seems so far out of my reach right now.

I've lost my dating mojo.

The momentum is gone. The thrill of getting ready for a date is not there - hell - the thought of making small talk with someone does not interest me at all.

And I'm a former journalist!

I was talking to friends recently about the effort that's involved when online dating. I treat it like a hobby or a second job.

You need to invest time and energy (and sometimes money for the paid sites) for it to be any use to you at all.

I know the next few weeks will be the best time to get back on the horse. Dating sites prey on vulnerable people (women) this time of year.

Everyone is fresh from making new year's resolutions - a new you - and plans to find "the one".

I have no such notion, however there are usually good discounts on the paid sites so now is the time to take that leap.

But something is holding me back. When I figure out what it is I might just sign up again. I just might...